Let's Meet for Coffee

The Coach gets there first. She always does. She orders. Settles in. There is nothing to do but wait and watch the door.

Jonah walks in like a man who has earned every step. He worked hard to get here, harder than most, and he knows it. He also knows his standards are not average. He stopped expecting them to be a long time ago. What he hasn't figured out is what to do with the gap. She can see that too, before he even sits down.

He orders. She already has hers.

JONAH

I have two people on my team and I don't know what to do with them.

THE COACH

Tell me.

JONAH

Good people. They care. They show up. But the follow through, the execution, it's inconsistent. I've done the check-ins. Assigned senior engineers to work alongside them. Calendar reminders. One on ones. It keeps happening, and I've stopped being surprised by it.

THE COACH

And you're still picking up slack.

JONAH

Not egregious. But it doesn't go away.

☕

THE COACH

Tell me about one of them.

JONAH

Talented. Genuinely tries. When the work slips he owns it. Apologizes. Tries hard for a week, maybe two. Then something comes up and we're back. The apology is real. The change isn't.

THE COACH

Give me an example.

JONAH

Last month. Critical deadline. His mother's basement flooded. It was a real situation and he needed to take care of it.

THE COACH

What did you do?

JONAH

Stepped in. Picked up what he couldn't finish. We met the deadline.

THE COACH

Did you ask him how he was going to handle both?

JONAH

I could see it was going to affect the work.

THE COACH

Did he tell you that?

Jonah said nothing.

JONAH

It was just faster to handle it.

THE COACH

And easier than the conversation.

☕

JONAH

Sometimes I wonder if he's just lazy. And then I feel guilty for thinking it. I know my bar is high. I've known him for ten years. He's not lazy. But somewhere I started making that excuse for both of us.

THE COACH

Both things can be true. He can care and still not be giving you what you need.

JONAH

I don't want to resort to something punitive that would impact the culture.

THE COACH

Have you named the pattern to him directly?

JONAH

I've done the check-ins, the reminders, the...

JONAH

He agrees with everything I say.

THE COACH

That's not the same thing.

JONAH

He apologizes. Works harder for a week, maybe two. And then we're back here.

THE COACH

And then?

Jonah stopped.

☕

JONAH

Every time something pulls his attention, it shows up in the work.

THE COACH

That's the pattern. That's the conversation you haven't had yet.

JONAH

What if it doesn't change anything?

He said it quietly. Like he'd been sitting on it for a long time.

THE COACH

Maybe it won't. But right now you're protecting him from information he needs.

JONAH

And if he can't do both?

THE COACH

Let him tell you that. Don't decide it for him.

☕

JONAH

I want him to succeed. I genuinely do.

THE COACH

I know. Which is exactly why this conversation is worth having. He doesn't know where he actually stands. You've been protecting him from that. And he can't grow from a place he doesn't know he's in.

Jonah was quiet for a long moment.

JONAH

I've been addressing the mistakes. He probably doesn't notice the pattern.

THE COACH

Compassion without clarity isn't kindness, Jonah. It's just delayed disappointment, for both of you.

Jonah came in looking for a way to unlock someone else's potential. He left knowing there was one conversation he hadn't tried yet. This time, he didn't look for a reason to wait.

THIS EPISODE FEATURES:

GRAMI Caffé — Malverne, NY

GRAMI Caffé in Malverne is the kind of place that has something for everyone. My go-to is the almond croissant, or the potato roll when I want something savory. My kids head straight for the cake pops. Walk in. You'll find yours.